STOP EVERYTHING!!!
This means you, World!!
Prince William & Catherine Middleton wed as Britain celebrates!
I'm sorry, but perhaps you didn't hear me the first time, people. I said...
STOP EVERYTHING!!!
This means you, Mr. and Mrs. Tornadoes... who are plummeting the America's southern regions to ruins (and killed 318 - and still counting),
and you too, Uganda... how dare you have death and riots at this most prestigious time on the planet.
Hello, Tunisia - we do not have time for your foolishness when there is REAL news to report so please control your 800 escaped inmates and wait for a more appropriate time for us to tell your good citizens to lock their doors (or die)!!
Finally...
hold the presses (and the revolt) Beirut - those 42 (mostly) civilians killed in today's battle during the Syrian uprising will have to be reported (and buried) another day.
Rejoice, oh world, rejoice!! For the most important of all events has occurred and has halted the world to a stand still!! For NOTHING shall take precedence in the news more than THIS truly worthy breaking story!!
What is that smell?? Is it the shit that finally hit the proverbial fan?? I don't think so - It's the foul stench of irreverence and disdain, and this blog is proudly dripping of it!!
Ok - before you get your royal uppity undies and bloomers in an twist...
ahh, screw it, go ahead... twist away... I am!!
(Like I really care!)
WHY is the Royal wedding more news worthy than REAL news, and enough to knock out important stories of true substance to the world??
You know what - You want news about the "Royal Wedding"?? Here's something interesting about the "Royal Wedding"...
The Royals had their taxpaying citizens PAY for the security for this outlandish wedding and the Queen said they (the citizens) should be pillaged... Oops! I mean... privileged (my bad), and honored to have had paid for it. (BTW, the Royals paid Two (2) million to pitch in for security (guards every FIVE (5) FEET!!) while the taxpayers tossed (arf!) in thirty-two (32) million - WTF!
Talk about a royal screwing!!
(BTW - do ya think the royal honeymoon...
ahh, never mind... I must stay with my original thought.)
That's a lot of bread for security!! Ya know, I thought the Royals had more money than God, so WTF??
Spoiled rotten, inbred, royal pains in the asses -
IMHO (disclaimer - tee-hee)
So while some humanoids had their heads in the clouds of make believe, pretending they are marrying a monarch man-child (who probably has servants to wipe his little royal tushy for him, undoubtedly at the poor taxpayers' expenses),
this is what they missed...
Syrian protesters defy Assad government; 42 killed
Click here to read this REAL news story
Over 800 inmates escape Tunisian prisons
Click here to read this REAL news story
Japan Blames U.S. For Quake Damages
Oh wait - that's wrong! It just sounds right because Japan blames the U.S. for everything else.
It SHOULD read...
Japan official: US tornadoes evoke quake damages
click here to read this REAL news story
And for a far more interesting (and educationally stimulating) story...
Six Planets Now Aligned in the Dawn Sky
Click here for this interesting and truly exciting news story.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot...
Just in case you were living under a rock -
on another planet -
in another galaxy...
far, far away...
There was a "royal" wedding today.
Click this link to sum up the true story of the royal wedding, IMHO
But if you prefer something A LOT more interesting to see, look no further than below...
WATCH THIS CORN GROW!
Not exciting enough??
Quick!! Call the kids in the room and watch this...
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